Dealing with the Noise

Tomorrow is President's Day so the kids are out of school. Y and her friends are going to the mall. J and I will be there too but we won't be with the girls. We'll be doing our own thing.

Today he and I have to figure out what stores we're going to go to and what he wants to get from each one, if we're going to eat in the food court or an enclosed restaurant and if the food court, which food stand.

I also have to make sure I put his ear plugs in my purse. The sounds at the mall bother him. What's interesting, though, is what sounds and where.

When we're in the mall proper J is fine. The constant din of people talking doesn't bother him. I wonder if he hears it like a loud white noise because that's what it sounds like to me. It begins to grate on my nerves after a while but I've never noticed it to bother J at all.

Going into stores, though, is a different situation. Some stores he can't handle because the loud music played "hurts" J, as he's told me. He once told me it makes his body and head pound inside and he didn't like it. I can understand that feeling. Some of songs I've heard blaring so luodly through the store's speakers has such a strong beat or bass line to it that it make your whole body vibrate. While annoying to me at times, it really bothers J. As a result there are a lot of stores we don't go in to. This is something we've learned through trial and error.

Then there are the store we do go in to. J has a list them. These are his favorites. Some of them play this loud music that hurts him. J still wants to go into them because he likes the clothes. That's where the ear plugs come in. Once in, they help him tolerate being in the store small amounts at at time. A lot of times he'll go in and out before he finds something he likes and I buy it. I just let him do his thing.

Once we're out of the store the ear plugs come out and go back into my purse.

When it comes to eating lunch at the mall almost every time J wants to each in the food court. Me, I'd much rather go sit down in a restaurant. There aren't many in the mall we're going to, and the ones that are there J doesn't like. He says they're too loud. Well, the food court is loud too - very loud.

This is where I always find it interesting. J much prefers the much louder din in the food court to the noise in a restaurant. And believe me, the din in the food court is something you have to shout over to be heard. I personally don't like it and hate eating in the food court. But J doesn't mind it at all.

When we've tried before to eat in one of the mall restaurants J has been fidgety and agitated and he covers his ears. We've always ended up leaving with our meals in boxes.

I've wondered why it is he can tolerate the noise in the mall and food court better than the noise - and music - in the restaurants and some of the stores. I asked him one time and he told me the noise bugs him a little bit but not as much because it's all over the place. The noise - and music - in the restaurants and stores is in one small spot and he doesn't like it.

I can understand that. He likes the open spaces where the sound travels far away. The restaurant and stores are enclosed spaces where the sound doesn't get to travel too far. This must lead to sensory overload which results in us having to leave or avoiding the place all together.

Knowing this, I think about how he maneuvers the stores he likes to go into that have the loud music - constant going in and out, with ear plugs in - and I smile. J knows his likes and dislikes and he's worked out a way to deal with them when they overlap each other.

I'll be the one using the ear plugs in the food court during lunch.