J out buddying around

For several months now I've been trying to get a mentor for J. While he has his uncle and grandfather as role models and guys to do things with they're not available as much as I'd like them to be. And, to be quite frank and honest, J needs more male figures in his life. Seriously! His father isn't around. Can we say Deadbeat Dad. And almost everybody he interacts with is female. So, he needs male role models.

I've been working with an agency that matches up disabled kids with mentors and helps them develop social skills. I specified a male, J needs a male. One was matched up and did pretty good with J. Unfortunately, his schedule was too busy that he had to transfer J to somebody else. The transfer never happened. In fact, the previous mentor just completely up and disappeared on us, leaving J hanging and me upset. It took a few phone calls to the agency I'm working with and then playing phone tag with the new guy before things finally connected. But they did.

Alex, who's the new mentor, came out here last week to meet J and spend some time with him. I also had to fill out paperwork.

J loved him. He thought he was great and couldn't wait until they began doing things together.

They began yesterday - Thursday. Alex came over about 4:30 and hung out with J in the basement. J showed him his Bionicles and gave Alex a quick lesson on them. They then talked about what J liked to do. The next thing I know J is asking me if Alex can bring him to Toys R Us. I said sure, that was fine. Alex asked me about buying him something and I told him that what we usually do is go and look around and create a list of the things he really wants. Then we discuss which one he wants the most and what he can do to earn it. Alex was fine with this.

So, the two of them were off for an evening excursion, and I was so happy to see him go. J was thrilled about it too.

He's had PCAs in the past, all male, before it became my full-time job. J always enjoyed the time he spent with them. However, when PCAing became my job the available hours for additional staffing were almost nonexistent. And I couldn't find anybody who wanted to work maybe six hours a week when it was almost twenty hours a week before. So, he went without a PCA, or continuous positive male role model for a long time.

That finally changed. I almost cried last evening when J left with Alex. The pure excitement and joy in his eyes to have a guy to buddy around with again really got to me.

Alex brought J back a couple of hours later and J showed me the list he came up with of all the things he wants. I also found out they went to Petco as well as Toys R Us because he had animals as well toys on this list. Alex and I didn't get much of a chance to discuss the list but I have a feeling Alex is going to work with J to earn one of the toys.

After Alex left J talked for almost half-an-hour about him, how cool he was, how much he liked him, and about where they went and the fun they had. This is something J doesn't normally do. He'll wait a few days, processing everything, then talk about it. Not yesterday. The fact that he was talking about Alex almost immediately after he left tells me what a great match these two are going to be.

And they will. Alex in in his early twenties; he listens to a lot of the same music that J does, likes similar things, and wears some of the same clothing brands J does. J pointed this out to me. And to J, having someone he can identify with is important.

Alex will be seeing J every Thursday evening, and then more once school is out. This looks to be the start of a great friendship, and I couldn't be happier for J.