I look at my son and what do I see?

Do I see an eleven year old boy struck down and taken away from me by autism? No. I see a boy very much alive and well and right by my side loving life and happy to be who he is. I see a boy full of affection and ready to give hugs at a moments notice. All he needs to do is hold open his arms and say, "Hug." And he gives the best hugs I've ever gotten. I see a boy who loves to share with me all that he's learned on animals. Sometimes he goes on with it that it gets to the point I have to give him a time limit and then stop. Or I have him record what he wants to tell me and we listen to it later.

Sure he has his struggles. He has trouble finding the words he wants to say, he has difficulty understanding and expressing his emotions and dealing with them in a manner that is appropriate and works best for him, he gets upset if his daily/weekly routine is changed, he deals with Sensory Integration Dysfunction, he lacks the social skills needed to be productive and comfortable around his peers and in society.

J has friends at school he plays with and everyone in his grade knows him. But it took him years to get to this point. And he still struggles to maintain the simplest interaction with his peers. He tries his hardest to interact with people when we're out in public. Some look at him funny while others fully engage him.

All this combined, and so much more, is my son.

I've never been the type of mother who pursues biomedical procedures. J doesn't need them and he's told me he doesn't want them. However, I have tried the gfcf diet. It did nothing for J. It's true, what works for one child doesn't work for another. But then I think the fact that 75% of our diet consists of natural and organic food made gfcf obsolete for him. I know several of the foods we eat are gluten-free but I don't think the removal of that particular item has made a difference in J. I think just the fact that we eat a healthy diet mostly free of additives, preservatives, food coloring, etc. has been good for all of us.

J is on medication. He has been since he was three years old. It's to help him with mental clarity and reduce aggression and hyperness. I was told try gfcf to help with that. Like I've said before I did; it didn't help at all. What has helped is J's growing awareness of himself and his emotions. He figures out and understands a little bit more every day. I truly believe that in time he'll be off his medications. His psychiatrist thinks so as well. Meanwhile, J's medication does not run his life or take away from him. They help him stay in control and find a balance for himself. Just like how I take medication for my depression and anxiety to help me maneuver better through a day, it's the same thing with J. I'm working on learning ways so I don't have to be on medication all my life. J is doing the same thing.

J does get therapy. He's been in speech therapy for years as well as occupational. Metronome therapy is used to help him build his coordination. He starts swim therapy soon to help him build muscle strength. He sees a child psychologist who helps him develop coping stategies for his stress. His emotions, but his therapist calls it his stress. And strategies to help him as he gets older.

Now, does J go through all this so he can be cured or recovered? No. And I'm sure biomedders would tell me I need to do more than just therapy to achieve that. That I'm not doing enough to help him. Well, I'm not trying to cure or recover my son. What I'm doing, or more specifically, what he's doing as he goes through all these therapies is to gain social and life skills so he can be successful in the future in a world he's not wired for. His goal is to be a zookeeper after all.

J doesn't need to be cured. He doesn't need to be recovered from autism. He's perfectly fine, happy and content the way he is. I've seen several videos of kids whose parents claim have recovered from autism by biomedical treatments. I'd love to have those same parents look at J and try and guess which biomed treatments he had to help him with the progress he made. I'd love to see their faces when I tell them he hasn't been through any. All he's had is Speech, OT and early education intervention. When I've watched these videos and I see kids from ages two up to eleven it's like I'm looking at J all over again. Every child in every video I've watched resembles how he was, what his behaviors were, what his development was at the same age. I don't see any differences at all. The difference I do see is that I didn't use biomedical to achieve these goals.

This in mind is why it disgusts and angers me when people make comments about how they think either myself, or other parents who think the same way I do, don't care about or love our children because we do nothing to "help" them. Excuse me, I do help my son. I help him to help himself. Because I don't do it the way of biomedders doesn't make me wrong or a bad parent. In my opinion, it makes me more accepting of how my son is because I'm not trying to change him.

True, there are parents out there who do nothing because either they don't want to because they can't handle the diagnosis yet or don't have the money to do so, or they think their child is too special that they don't need therapy or any other kind of treatment. (My mom has a friend who's a spec. ed. teacher who has a student whose family is like that.) But don't categorize the rest of us who don't follow DAN! protocol into that bunch. We do care about our kids, we do love them and want them to reach their fullest potential. We don't see the need for such extreme treatments to achieve that. What we see is the need for love, understanding, acceptance and services for our kids so that they can reach their fullest potential whatever that may be. Now and in the future.

So, today is World Autism Day. This is how I celebrated it. Remembering how wonderful my son is.